A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key” (2/21)
“What do you call a drummer with half a brain?"/"Overqualified.” (2/21)
“Gardeners always know the ground rules” (2/21)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (2/21)
“What do you call a black man flying a plane?"/"A pilot, you racist!” (2/21)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 25, 2015
Month 02—February

The following words or phrases are about February:

FEBRUARY
Febrewary (February + brew)

FEBRUARY 2
“We accept weather predictions from a rodent, but deny climate change evidence by scientists”

FEBRUARY 14
“Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play”
“Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?"/"Yes. February 14th.”
“Forget love—I’d rather fall in chocolate”
“I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. You make me sick!”
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day”
“I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single”
“If it’s not Valentine’s Day and you see a man in a flower shop, ask ‘What did you do?‘“
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”
“If you don’t have a valentine on Valentine’s Day, don’t be sad”
“If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, remember nobody loves you on any other day”
“No woman will ever be truly satisfied on Valentine’s Day…”
“Nothing says love like something you made”
“Olive who?"/"Olive you!” (knock-knock joke)
“So I’ve decided that my wifi will be my valentine. I don’t know, we just have this connection”
“Sugar is sweet and so are you” ("Roses are red…")
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”
“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married” (joke)
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is”
“What did one oar say to the other?"/"Are you up for a little row-mance?”
“What did one pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?"/"You mean a great dill to me.”
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?"/"I’m sweet on you!”
“What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?"/"Hogs and kisses.”
“What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?"/"Cauliflowers.”
“What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th”
“What’s the difference between you and a calendar?"/"A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.”
“Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?"/"Because he wanted sweet dreams.”
“Why did the cannibal break up with his valentine?"/"She didn’t suit his taste.”
“Why didn’t Cupid shoot at the lawyer’s heart?"/"Because Cupid can’t hit a target that small.”
“Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?"/"Because it’s all heart”
“Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?"/"Because you can really party hearty!”
“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it”
Arizona: Valentine State (nickname)
Besos (Mexican pastry “kisses")

FEBRUARY 15-20 (THIRD MONDAY)
“Prune roses before Presidents Day and azaleas before the Fourth of July”

FEBRUARY 18
First “Big Apple” explanation: February 18, 1924

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityCalendar • Saturday, July 25, 2015 • Permalink