A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“When I said ‘nuke the Chinese,’ I meant put the takeout in the microwave” (4/22)
“Why is ground beef so popular?"/"Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.” (4/22)
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people…” (4/22)
“If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.  It’s science” (4/22)
“Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men” (4/22)
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Entry from September 10, 2016
“If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion” (bar sign)

"If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion” is a jocular line that has been printed on bar signs. GSElevator (Goldman Sachs Elevator) posted the message on Twitter on September 9, 2013. The joke instantly went viral.


Twitter
GSElevator
‏@GSElevator
#1: If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion.
7:03 PM - 9 Sep 2013

Twitter
Olee Fowler
‏@oleefowler
I can’t wait to use this line “@GSElevator: #1: If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion.”
7:07 PM - 9 Sep 2013

Twitter
Aaron D.
‏@TableforOne
If I wanted just one drink I would have gone to communion.
8:57 AM - 10 Sep 2013

Twitter
Ethan
‏@ethanbruns1
If I only wanted one drink, I’d convert to Christianity and go to communion
11:54 AM - 18 Sep 2013

Twitter
Jason Trueblood
‏@jasonjtrueblood
@GailyyG if we wanted only one drink we would have just gone to communion.
9:38 PM - 18 Nov 2013

Business Insider
The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide To Bar Etiquette
GSElevator
Dec. 2, 2013, 5:00 PM
(...)
#1: If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion.

Google Books
Don’t Film Yourself Having Sex
By Emma Sadleir and Tamsyn de Beer
London: Penguin Books
2014
Pg. ?:
If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion.

Google Books
Straight to Hell:
True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, and Billion-Dollar Deals

By John LeFevre
New York, NY: Atlantic Monthly Press
2015
Pg. ?:
If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for Communion.

Personal License Courses Blog
June 9, 2015
52 Funniest Pub Chalkboard Signs
By Martin Read
(...)
“IF I ONLY WANTED ONE DRINK, I’D GO TO COMMUNION”—MY DAD

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityRestaurants/Bars/Bakeries/Food Stores • Saturday, September 10, 2016 • Permalink