A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life” (3/22)
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays” (3/22)
“All you need is love and a good cup of coffee” (3/22)
“Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin” (3/22)
“Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup” (3/22)
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Entry from November 03, 2010
“I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener”

"I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener!” is a joke indicating that the speaker can’t cook fresh, healthy food. The saying has appeared on a list of “Kitchen Signs” since at least 2000 and is of unknown authorship.


TVTalkShows.com
Jeny
10-06-2000, 11:06 AM
KITCHEN SIGNS
(...)
I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

14 November 2001, Centre Daily Times (State College, PA), pg. 1C:
Signs of the times
Sure “Kiss the cook” is a nice thought, but we think the following kitchen signs posted in a recent e-mail are so much more realistic.

By Chris Arbutina
(...)
I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener.

AJokeADay.com - Signs Jokes
I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener!
(...)
Thanks to: Daniel Martindale - USA.
rec.:Nov/15/2002 pub.:Mar/28/2003


Jokeroo
handymanmike92683
12-15-2004 11:58 PM
Funny Kitchen Signs
(...)
8. I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

Google Books
It’s a jungle at home
By Debra White Smith
Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers
2006
Pg. 193 (Kitchen Signs):
I would cook dinner, but I can’t find the can opener!

Google Books
12 Steps to Raw Foods:
How to End Your Dependency on Cooked Food

By Victoria Boutenko
Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books
2007
Pg. 59:
“I would cook dinner, but l can’t find the can opener!” — Author Unknown

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • (0) Comments • Wednesday, November 03, 2010 • Permalink