A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks, ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?‘“ (6/23)
“Don’t waste a moment of your life trying to be normal” (6/23)
“Dance like no one is watching. Because they are not. They’re checking their phones” (6/23)
“Dance like no one is watching. Because they are not. They’re checking their phones” (6/23)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (6/23)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 21, 2016
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence”

A popular joke about television’s “brightness” knob was given by the comedian Gallagher:

“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called ‘brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.”

The Gallagher quote has been cited in print since at least 1996.


Wikipedia: Gallagher (comedian)
Leo Anthony Gallagher, Jr. (born July 24, 1946), known as Gallagher, is an American comedian and prop comic, known for smashing watermelons as part of his act.

Google Groups: bit.listserv.coco
To those requesting the “OrphanWare” discussion end.
Chet Simpson
1/28/96
(...)
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called `brightness’, but it doesn’t work.” —Gallagher

Google Books
A Treasury of Humor:
Thousands of humorous stories, jokes, anecdotes and one-liners, up-to-date and categorized for ease of use

By Lowell D. Streiker
Peabody, MA: Hendrickson
2000
Pg. 400:
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work. — Eugene Gallagher

Google News Archive
13 September 2004, The Blade (Toledo, OH), sec. D, pg. 5, col. 2:
CRYPTOGRAPH
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called ‘brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.”

Twitter
Steve’s Quotes Today
‏@todayquotes
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called `brightness’, but it doesn’t work."-Gallager, 60 today
9:53 AM - 24 Jul 2007

DonationCoder.com
Re: Your favorite quotes?
40hz
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2008, 11:06:04 AM »
(...)
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called “brightness”, but it doesn’t work. Every time I turn it all the way up, the shows stay just as dumb.” - Leo Gallagher

Google Books
The Mammoth Book of Insults
By Geoff Tibballs
London: Constable & Robinson, Ltd
2011
Pg. ?:
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called “brightness”, but that doesn’t work. – Gallagher

Storypick
19 Intelligent Jokes That You Need To Read Twice To Understand
Ananta Sharma - 28th May 2015
(...)
16. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityRadio/Television • Thursday, July 21, 2016 • Permalink