A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“What’s a KKK member’s favorite donut?"/"White powder.” (8/16)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (8/16)
“What do you call an eternity?"/"Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.” (8/16)
“Keep your friends close and your wine glass closer” (8/16)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (8/16)
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Entry from September 03, 2012
“I swear to drunk I’m not God” (joke)

“Ossifer, I swear to drunk I’m not God” is how a drunk might say, “Officer, I swear to God I’m not drunk.” The jocular speech pattern has been cited in print since at least 2002.


Urban Dictionary
i swear to drunk i’m not god
Usually said by drunks.
They think they’re actually saying:
“I swear to god I’m not drunk.”
Unforunately, they aren’t.
by SuperSonicX Aug 22, 2004

FanFiction.Net
To Quote…
Author: Trilobite PM
When Gloria finds funny quotes on the internet, how crazy will the angels get?
Published: 05-13-02
(...)
Ociffer, I swear to drunk I’m not God!

7 January 2003, Detroit (MI) News, “Cops get tough with motorists who drink”:
“I swear to drunk I’m not God! And really, there is no blood in my alcohol.”

LittleBlackDog.com
eXpired
Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 1:06 am
(...)
I swear to drunk I’m not God!

Mirrors of the Wolf
OCT 17, 2004
I swear to drunk I’m not God!
I’m hearing Team America could be a big hit at the box office.

23 November 2006, The Post-Standard (Syracuse, NY), Weekend, pg. 21, col. 2:
A TWIST ON WORDS
“I’d say that craziest thing a drank person has ever said to me here would probably be’ I swear to drunk Im not God!’”
(Bartender Courtney Anderson—ed.)

The Star (Malaysia)
Wednesday April 2, 2008
Saying it wrong on purpose
By GRANT BARRETT
(...)
This word often accompanies long joke sayings in which many of the words are jumbled, such as, “Ossifer, I swear to drunk I’m not God” – the kind of thing you might say to a cop if you were likkered up (inebriated) and couldn’t speak normally.

ABC News
Las Vegas: Great odds for cheap frills
By Kitty Bean Yancey, USA TODAY
September 19, 2008
(...)
No tuxes, just T-shirts for sale that read: “I swear to drunk, I’m not God.”

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • (0) Comments • Monday, September 03, 2012 • Permalink