A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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“What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it?"/"Toest.” (7/21)
“Some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue” (7/21)
“Is a frozen watermelon still a watermelon or is it now an icemelon?” (7/21)
“Why shouldn’t you hire a midget chef?"/"The steaks are too high.” (7/21)
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Entry from June 05, 2016
“How do you cook kidneys?"/"Boil the piss out of them.”

An off-color joke about kidneys is:

Q: How do you cook kidneys?
A: Boil the piss out of them.


The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977.


Google Books
The Kidney Patient:
A Socio-medical Study

By George S T Chu
Dissertation: Dr. of Public Health University of California, Berkeley
1977
Pg. 109:
Q. How do you cook kidneys?
A. Boil the piss out of them.
(Entry in nurses’ log)

Google Groups: soc.singles.moderated
why is it hard to ?
Robert Blackshaw
12/10/96
(...)
What, not like steak and kidney pie, why I never! Of course when I once asked my ex to make it for me she said “How do you cook kidneys?” Upset her no end when I replied “Put them in a pot and boil the piss out of them.”

Google Groups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel
Tired of flame wars? Go to
John Irwin
3/1/00
I can’t stand the taste or smell of liver.  My wife loves it, too.  I tell her that is great that some like it, otherwise the world would be filled with rotting green liver. Reminds me of cooking kidneys.  How do you cook kidneys?  Well, you just boil the pi** out of them.

Google Books
The New Treasury of Gross Jokes
By Julius Alvin
New York, NY: Kensington Books
2004
Pg. 51:
How do you cook kidneys?
You have to boil the piss out of them.

Twitter
‏@PenaleAmor
#SaturdayKitchenLive richard from leeds- “how do you cook kidneys..” -hahaha just made it worst!!
5:11 AM - 22 Jan 2011

Twitter
Michael Patrick
‏@kawiracer14
How do you cook kidneys? Boil the piss outta em! #MorningFunny
9:22 AM - 25 Jan 2011

Twitter
Marc Kelly
‏@Oh_Heyyy_Marc
“How do you cook kidneys? You boil the piss out of them.” hahaha Grandma always has the best jokes.
6:19 PM - 24 Apr 2011

reddit
How do you cook kidneys? (self.funny)
submitted January 27, 2011 by thetogs
Boil the piss out of them.

Twitter
Funny JokesGood Joke
‏@shortadultjokes
Short jokes-Cook kidneys: How do you cook kidneys? You have to boil the p*ss out of them.  http://bit.ly/HHueN9 #jokes
2:01 AM - 3 Apr 2012

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Sunday, June 05, 2016 • Permalink