“He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front”

“He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front” was said by American comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) about New York-born comedian and actor George Burns (1896-1996) in 1989, when Burns was 93. New York-born comedian and actor Milton Berle (1908-2002) has been credited with the line since at least 1997, but there is no evidence that Berle said it first.
 
“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas” is a similar joke about old age.
 
   
Wikipedia: Henny Youngman
Henry “Henny” Youngman (original Yiddish surname Yungman; 16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the “one-liner”. His best known one-liner was “Take my wife ... please”.
 
23 November 1989, The Morning Call (Allentown, PA), “NY Lite,” pg. D18, col. 1:
NOW THAT’S OLD—Henny Youngman says George Burns is so old, “When he orders a three-minute egg, they want the money up front.”
     
10 June 1990, The Courier-Journal (Louisville, KY),  “Theater Review: Henny Youngman” by Gene Williams, pg. C3, col. 2:
When George Burns orders a three-minute egg, they want the money up front.”
 
Google Books
Take My Life, Please!
By Henny Youngman with Neal Karlen
Thorndike, ME: Thorndike Press
1992
Pg. 282:
Henny Youngman is now so old that, when he orders a three-minute egg, they make him pay up front.
 
Google Books
Roasts & toasts:
Snappy One-Liners for Every Occasion
By Gene Perret with Terry Perret Martin
New York, NY: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
1997
Pg. 84:
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. — Milton Berle
 
Google Books
Over the Hill & On a Roll:
Laugh Lines for the Better Half of Life
By Bob Phillips
Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers
1998
Pg. 86:
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. —Milton Berle
 
Google Books
Matters That Matter…:
4,000 Notable Quotables and 900 Relevant Subject Topics Guaranteed to Fertilze Your Mind and Cultivate Your Life
By Daniel Taddeo
Airleaf
2006
Pg. 138:
At my age, when I order a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle.
 
Twitter
Life Quotes‏
@LovnQuotes
I’m so old that when I order a three-minute egg they make me pay up front.
-by Henny Youngman
https://goo.gl/sRZ1P7
2:05 AM - 31 Mar 2017