A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse” (8/20)
“Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse” (8/20)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (8/20)
“Solar energy is just nuclear energy from a safe distance” (8/20)
“With Google Earth, people can see any place on the globe. But we just look up our homes” (8/20)
More new entries...

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Entry from July 28, 2015
“First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest”

Entry in progress—B.P.

Google Books
The Australian Mathematics Teacher
Volumes 41-42
1985
Pg. ?:
The following incomplete rhyme is popular in our neighbourhood:

First the worst, second the best,
Third the one with the hairy chest (wedding dress).
Fourth the golden eagle ...

Google Books
On Water
By Thomas Farber
Hopewell, NJ: Ecco Press
1994
Pg. 53:
“Last one in’s a rotten egg. First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the polka dot dress.”

Google Books
Requiem
By K.M. Bourgeois
Xlibris Corporation (Xlibris.com)
2000
Pg. 112:
First is the worst. Second is the best. Third is the one with the treasure chest.

Google Groups: alt.fan.hanson
hanson i #1
Pam really cooks
6/14/00
>did u hear that gril who said that #2 was the best and #1 was the worst?!
>Lmao
>at that one

Yeah I heard that. Hmm… I used to say that in third grade. “First is theworst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

Google Groups: alt.underground
Taglines, a few daze late.
Microsoft Gump 2K1
5/29/01
(...)
I think an other proverb goes something like this: “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest!”

Google Groups: alt.support.step-parents
another newbie question?
Jennifer
2/21/02
(...)
My kids are always saying this:  “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest.” I have no *idea* what it all means, but I can tell you it’s the precursor to all sorts of screaming and tussling, lol!

Law of the Playground
First the worst / Second the best / Third the one with the hairy chest
Fourth the king / Fifth the queen / Sixth the one in the washing machine.
In this version, finishing third is even more desirable than second to boys, so any boy winning a race would stop just before the finish, and wrestle two of his opponents over the line before him. Girls unable to finish in the first two places would have to slow down and settle for fifth. The sixth position carried no real threat, however, as any cries of “you’re the one in the washine machine” could be met with the unarguable comeback, “no, I’m not”.
approved Dec 3 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Anon

Google Books
Explorations in Creative Writing
By Kevin Brophy
Carlton, Vic.: Melbourne University Press
2003
Pg. 123:
20 March 1987
‘First is worst, second is best and third is the golden princess’ — children’s subversive rhyme.

Playground Jungle
December 2009
First is the Worst
Any time kids at my school were in a race to get somewhere, the winner would be taken down a peg with the following:

“First is the worst,
second’s the best
third is a nerd
in the polka dot dress”

(...)
She and her friends didn’t invent this, of course; even the “zero’s the hero” bit has been going around for years. The “third” in other versions was often “the hairy princess” or “the one with the hairy chest.”

Google+
DJDarkraiHardstyle commented on a video on YouTube.
Shared publicly - Oct 10, 2014
First is the worst,
second’s the best
third is a Russian in a sausage fest...

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CitySports/Games • Tuesday, July 28, 2015 • Permalink