A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“After winning, I threw the ball into the crowd. Apparently, that’s unacceptable in bowling” (5/23)
“She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster” (5/22)
“The universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons” (5/22)
“The job requires me to get a potato clock” (get up at eight o’clock) (5/22)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (5/22)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Entry from September 04, 2006
“Confused as a cow on AstroTurf” (or, “Confused as a goat on AstroTurf")

"Confused as a cow on AstroTurf” is probably a variant of the old saying “as independent as a hog on ice.” A cow would be more at home on natural grass. Also used is “confused as a goat on AstroTurf.”

AstroTurf was installed in the Houston AstroDome for the 1966 season, so the expression cannot be earlier.


Wikipedia
AstroTurf is a registered trademark of Textile Management Associates, applied to a particular kind of artificial turf. The term is sometimes used as a generic description of any kind of artificial turf.

AstroTurf was invented in 1965 by employees of Monsanto, patented in 1967, and originally sold under the name “Chemgrass”. It was renamed AstroTurf after its first well-publicised use at the Houston Astrodome stadium. 

About.com
1962 - 1966: The Creative Products Group, part of Chemstrand’s research organization worked on creating the new playing surface. The surface was tested for foot traction and cushioning, weather drainage, flammability and wear resistance.
1964: The Creative Products Group installs a synthetic turf called Chemgrass at the Moses Brown School in Providence Rhode Island. This was the first large-scale installation of a synthetic turf.
1965: Judge Roy Hofheinz builds the AstroDome in Houston, Texas. Hofheinz consults Monsanto about replacing the natural grass with a new synthetic playing surface.
1966: The Houston Astros’ baseball season begins on a Chemgrass surface now renamed Astroturf at the AstroDome.
Fall 1966: The Houston Oilers’ AFL football season begins on more than 125,000 square feet of removable Astroturf (AstroDome).

Internet Movie Database
Memorable Quotes from
The Second Civil War (1997) (TV)
Jack Buchan: This president is going to end up as confused as a goat on Astroturf if we’re not careful.

Google Groups: misc.writing
From:  James Charles Rau
Date:  Wed, Jan 1 1997 12:00 am

As confused as a cow on Astroturf?

Google Groups: alt.comedy.improvisation
From:  Daniel L. Ashbrook
Date:  Thurs, Jul 24 1997 12:00 am

Confused as a goat on AstroTurf.

Google Groups: alt.sports.hockey.nhl.dallas-stars
From:  Capital Punishment
Date:  Sat, Jul 25 1998 12:00 am

“He looked more confused than a cow on astroturf”.

Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
From:  JD Delancy
Date:  Sat, Oct 17 1998 12:00 am

~ Confused as a cow on astroturf

(Trademark)
Word Mark ASTROTURF
Goods and Services IC 024. US 042. G & S: SURFACE COVERINGS OF FIBERS OR FILAMENTS FOR INDOOR AND OUTDOOR USE. FIRST USE: 19660312. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19660315
IC 001. US 050. G & S: MAN-MADE GRASSES OF FIBERS AND FILAMENTS. FIRST USE: 19660312. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: 19660315
Mark Drawing Code (1) TYPED DRAWING
Design Search Code
Serial Number 72241216
Filing Date March 17, 1966
Current Filing Basis 1A
Original Filing Basis 1A
Published for Opposition April 4, 1967
Registration Number 0830657
Registration Date June 20, 1967
Owner (REGISTRANT) MONSANTO COMPANY CORPORATION DELAWARE 800 N. LINDBERGH BLVD. ST. LOUIS MISSOURI 63167
(LAST LISTED OWNER) TEXTILE MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATES, INC. CORPORATION GEORGIA 1906 SOUTH HAMILTON STREET DALTON GEORGIA 30720
Assignment Recorded ASSIGNMENT RECORDED
Attorney of Record BRIAN E. BANNER
Type of Mark TRADEMARK
Register PRINCIPAL
Affidavit Text SECT 15.
Renewal 1ST RENEWAL 19870620
Live/Dead Indicator LIVE

Posted by Barry Popik
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary) • (0) Comments • Monday, September 04, 2006 • Permalink