“Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs”

“Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs” is a jocular definition that has been cited in print since at least 2005. WPM Invitational (often confused with the Washington Post) has this definition at the top of a list.
 
“Coffee (n): an attitude adjustment in a mug,” “Coffee (n): break fluid” and “Coffee (n): survival juice” are other coffee definitions.
     
       
WPM Invitational
Word Play Masters Invitational
For years an email has been circulating about the “Washington Post’s Mensa invitational” which includes a very clever list of words made by changing common words.
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THIS SITE IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE WASHINGTON POST!
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1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
 
OANDA Forex Forum 
tsch
Feb. 1, 2005 21:59:00
Trivia
The ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
 
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
   
jessification
THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 2005
coffee= the person on whom one coughs
 
Google Books
Be a Poet!
By Nancy Bogen
New York, NY: Twickenham Press
2007
Pg. 106:
Coffee (n.): “the individual upon whom one coughs.”
 
Twitter
John McGrath
‏@Wordie
Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs http://wordie.org/lists/coffee-house
5:20 AM - 12 Mar 09
 
Twitter
Funny One Liners
‏@funnyoneliners
Coffee (n.); The person upon whom one coughs.
5:05 AM - 13 Oct 09