A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“What does a Jewish pirate say?"/"Ahoy vey!” (9/19)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (9/19)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (9/19)
“Why did the pirate go to college?"/"To become an arrrrrrchitect!” (9/19)
“How do pirates communicate with each other?"/"With an aye phone.” (9/19)
More new entries...

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z


Entry from August 24, 2017
“An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A guy walks into a bar...” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” “An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...” is one popular version.

Each finds a fly in his drink. Both the Englishman and the Irishman take the fly out of the drink. The Scotsman takes the fly and commands, “SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!!”

The joke—involving a diner and cups of coffee—was printed in 1962 newspapers. The beer version became popular by 1995.


31 August 1962, Winona (MN) Daily News, “Try and Stop Me” by Bennett Cerf, pg. 6, col. 1:
New Twist: The proverbial Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were in a diner for a cup of coffee. When it was served they were annoyed to discover that each cup had a fly in it. The Englishman spooned the fly out of the cup and placed it on his saucer; the Irishman did the same. The Scot, however, reached into the cup, grabbed the fly behind the neck, and said angrily, “Okay spit it out.”

Google Books
Pomegranates Full and Fine:
A World of Darkness Novel

By Don Bassingthwaite
Clarkston, GA: White Wolf Pub.
1995
Pg. 135:
“Like the human joke about the Englishman, the Irishman and the Scotsman?” Tango yawned. “Englishman covers the beer with a napkin and sets it aside, Irishman flicks the fly out and keeps drinking, Scotsman picks the fly out very carefully and yells ‘spit it out, you little bugger, spit it out!’”

Google Groups: alt.support.mult-sclerosis
Shoo Fly a joke (non-MS)
bjwi...@shentel.net
5/13/96
Sent from Glenn.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
----------
From: Tullos, Bonnie
3 guys are sitting in a bar drinking pints of Guiness: an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman.  At the same time, 3 flies are buzzing around the light over the bar.  Well, plop, plop, plop, the 3 flies drop into the 3 beers.

The Englishman says, in a most dapper manner, “Bartender, might I have a spoon?” The Englishman takes the spoon, gently scoops the fly from his beer, and puts it into a napkin which he balls up and disposes of.

The Irishman dips his fingers into the beer, pulls out the fly, flicks it away, and proceeds to lick the beer off his fingers (can’t waste any, right?).

The Scotsman reaches into his beer with both hands, grabs the fly by the wings and shouts, “Spit it out, ya wee bugger!  Spit it out!”

Google Groups: aus.jokes
Three Guys Go Into a Pub
Rob Blasdel
2/28/97
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness.  Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage, each of three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, in anguish, picked the fly out of his drink, then held it out over the beer and then started yelling “ALRIGHT! SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!”

Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Irish jokes - good ones please
Vanessa
4/4/97
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness.  Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage, each of three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, in anguish, picked the fly out of his drink, then held it out over the beer and then started yelling “ALRIGHT! SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!”

4 November 1997, Sydney (Australia), Morning Herald, “Jokes that leave little to laugh at” by Marianne Scholem, pg. 15:
There was an Englishman, an Australian and a Scotsman drinking in a bar. Three flies were whizzing around the men’s heads. They landed, one in each man’s mug. “OOOOOH!” said the Englishman, with great disgust, and immediately ordered another one. “Oh,” said the Australian with not much care and casually flicked it out with a spoon. They both looked on with great astonishment as the Scotsman gently lifted the fly out by its wings, shook it dry and said to it: “C’mon laddie, spit it oot!”

Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman
G.P.
11/4/98
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer from him in disgust.
The Scotsman scooped at his beer until he washed the fly out and then continued drinking.

The Irishman carefully picked the fly out of his drink, then held it out over the beer and started yelling “SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!!!!”

17 March 1999, Illawarra Mercury (Wollongong, Australia), “Short Rounds” with Jodi Allen, pg. 10:
An Englishman, a Scotsman and Irishman walk into a pub and each order a pint Guinness.

It’s quite a hot day and a blowfly gets stuck in the creamy head of each pint.

The Englishman immediately pushes his glass away in disgust.

The Scotsman merely shrugs and fishes the blowie out of his glass, tosses it aside and downs his drink.

The horrified Irishman also dives his hand into the beer, but holds the offending fly above the glass.

“Now spit it out you bastard,” he yells.

YouTube
Jokes - An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
jokesus
Published on Aug 19, 2015
Joke :
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down, and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, “Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!”

Reddit—Jokes
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman…
submitted March 13, 2017 by stylinchilibeans
...walk into a pub. They all sit next to each other at the bar, and all three order a pint of Guinness. Right as they get their pints, a fly lands in each one’s drink. The Englishman turns up his nose disgustedly, and pushes the glass away. The Scotsman picks the fly out of his stout, throws it over his shoulder, and begins drinking. Then the Irishman picks the fly out of his drink, holds it by its soaked little wings over his glass, and yells, “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!”

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityRestaurants/Bars/Bakeries/Food Stores • Thursday, August 24, 2017 • Permalink