“A pirate walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” A popular pirate version is:
 
“A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, ‘Do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?’ and the pirate says, ‘Aargh! It’s drivin’ me nuts!’”
   
The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. “A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head…” is another pirate version that has been cited in print since 2006. “A pirate walks into a bar. And it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye” is another pirate version that was created in 2018.
         
   
Google Groups: alt.fan.dragonball
Akira Toriyama’s perversity
JJ Lanigan
8/31/00
(...)
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch. He sits down next to another pirate and the other pirate says, “Do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?” The other pirate says, “Arrr, it’s driving me nuts.”
 
Google Groups: alt.fan.dragonball
lol
Burndit 2
9/23/00
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch and so he sits next to his other pirate friends and one of his friends say” aree you got a steering wheel on ur crotch areee” so he says ” its driving me nuts” GET IT!!!!!!!
 
Google Groups: alt.music.ween
and speaking of the Blarney Stone…
aaron smith
6/30/01
This pirate walks into a bar, sits on a stool and orders a beer.  The bartender brings his beer, and notices that the pirate has a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper.
So the bartender says to the pirate in a wondering tone, “hey, you know you got a steering wheel sticking out of your zipper?”
The pirate takes a drink off the beer, and says, “Arrr!! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
 
Google Groups: alt.fifty-plus.friends
A Pirate Walks Into A Bar….....
Earthman
7/17/02
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuffed in his pants.
The bartender asks “Isn’t that a little uncomfortable?”
He says “Arrrrrg, it’s drivin me nuts!”
 
Urban Dictionary
Driving me nuts
(v.) To be getting annoyed by a trivial or small matter.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his fly. The bartender asks why it is there, to which the pirate replies “Yar, I do not know myself, but it’s been driving me nuts”
by Gumba Gumba May 14, 2004
 
Google Books
Playing with Matches
By Brian Katcher
New York, NY: Delacorte Press
2008
Pg. 18:
“So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, ‘Hey, you got a steering wheel in your pants,’ and the pirate says, ‘Aargh! It’s drivin’ me nuts!’”
 
Google Books
The New York City Bartender’s Joke Book
By Jimmy Pritchard
New York, NY: Warner Books, Inc.
2010
Pg. ?:
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s wheel attached to his dick. The bartender says, “What the hell is that?!” The pirate says, “Arrrrr. It’s a ship’s wheel, and it’s driving me nuts!”
 
YouTube
Jokes - A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of
jokesus
Published on Oct 5, 2015
Joke :
A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. In fact, it looks like his penis is stuck through the center of it. The bartender says, “Hey pirate! You’ve got your penis stuck in a steering wheel!” The pirate replied, “Arrrr, I know! It drives me nuts!”