A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from December 26, 2016
“A drummer with good time doesn’t exist” (joke)

A popular joke meme involves Santa Claus and/or the Easter Bunny, a smart or honest (blonde, drummer, lawyer, politician, et al.) and a dumb or dishonest (blonde, drummer, lawyer, politician et al.). They’re all together and they spot some money on the floor. Who gets the money? The dumb or dishonest (blonde, drummer, lawyer, politician, et al.) gets it because the other two or three don’t exist.

A form of the joke existed in East Germany on the late 1980s, when the group included “Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a smart policeman, and a dumb policeman.” The group included “a dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus” in September 1991. In October 1991, the group of “an honest lawyer, a dishonest lawyer and the Easter Bunny” was said to have been from an old joke.

A drummer version was told in 1992 and recorded in 1993:

“If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money? A.  The drummer with bad time since the other three don’t exist.”

A lawyer and politician version was told in 2000:

“Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!”


Google Books
Behind the Wall:
An American in East Germany, 1988-89

By Paul Gleye
Carbondale, IL: Southern Illinois University Press
1991
Pg. 134:
To their credit, the East Germans did not tell ethnic jokes. For them the three people needed to change a light bulb were policemen:

“Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a smart policeman, and a dumb policeman were walking down the street and suddenly found a fifty-mark bill lying on the sidewalk. Who picked it up?”

“The dumb policeman, of course. The other three don’t exist in reality.”

11 September 1991, The Arizona Republic (Phoenix, AZ), “32 More Blonde Jokes,” pg. C3, col. 5:
Q: A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumbe blonde—the other two don’t exist.

Google Groups: alt.child-support
Lawyers: A Problem, Solution or Neither
Bob Kirkpatrick
10/1/91
(...)
There’s an old joke which goes…

An honest lawyer, a dishonest lawyer and the Easter Bunny were in a circle around a pile of money. Suddenly, the lights went off. When they came back on, the money was gone. Who took it? The answer was, of course, the dishonest lawyer. (The other two don’t exist.)

Google Groups: rec.humor
Some Jokes : At last
Kostaky Savva
2/12/92
(...)
An intelligent man, an intelligent woman and Santa Claus walk into a lift.
There is a five pound note on the floor. Who picks it up?
Answer - The intelligent man, because the other two don’t exist.

Google Groups: rec.humor
A joke!
TONY D’ALFONSO
9/7/92
(...)
Santa Claus, a smart woman and a dumb woman are in a room with a $10 bill on the floor.  The lights go out.  When they come back on, the bill is missing. Who took it?

Stop an think about this one… It had to be the dumb woman as the other two don’t exist!

Google Books
Intensely Gross Jokes
By Julius Alvin
New York, NY: Kensington Publishing Corporation
1993
Pg. 139:
A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk. Which one picks it up? The dumb blonde — the other two don’t exist.

Google Groups: rec.music.makers
Musician Jokes!!
David M Atrostic
9/17/93
Well, I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t funny, but at least you guys (and gals) will get it.  If it makes any difference, Gregg Bissonette himself told it at a concert in May of 1992 with my high school percussion ensemble…

If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?
A.  The drummer with bad time since the other three don’t exist.
Ha smile Ha smile Ha smile

Google Groups: rec.music.makers
Musician Jokes - compendium
Dave Tutelman
11/10/93
(...)
Q. If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?
A. The drummer with bad time since the other three don’t exist.

21 November 2000, The Mirror (London, UK), “Yankee Doodle Dunces: Jokes that prove U.S. is a laughing stock,” pg. 6:
22. A CLEVER American, a stupid American, Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny were walking along when they saw a pounds 50 note on the floor. Who got the money?

The stupid American, of course - the other three don’t exist.

Google Groups: alt.tv.x-files
DEC 6th. ATXF Christmas Countdown (19 days untill Christmas Day )
Christopher Mcinerney
12/6/00
(...)
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist! wink

18 December 2004, The Sun (London, UK), “Pull the other one” by Harry MacAdam, pg. 6:
Q. An honest politician, a friendly traffic warden and Santa were walking down the street when they passed a Pounds 20 note. Which of them picked it up?
A. It must have been Father Christmas -the other two don’t exist.

23 December 2004, Irish Times (Dublin), “Avert your eyes Christmas quiz and seasonal silliness,” pg. 13:
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a [euro]20 note on the floor. Who picked it up? Santa of course - the other two don’t exist!

December 2004/January 2005, Cosmo Girl, “LOL Jokes,” pp. 40-41:
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the perfect guy, and an old lady are walking down the street when they simultaneously spot a $100 bill. Who gets it?
A: The old lady, of course! The other three don’t exist.

Google Books
The Best Musicians’ Jokes
By Bruno Kassel and Carlo May
Pacific, MO: Mel Bay Publications, Inc.
2005
Pp. 44-45:
If a dollar bill was lying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?

The drummer with bad time since the other three don’t exist.

Google Groups: alt.wholesale
Santa, Attorney & Politician
NMR
12/24/05
Santa, Attorney & Politician
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.

Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

Google Groups: fidonet.funny
Quotes About Santa Claus
ce...@twmba.net@f1010.n640.z3
1/5/06
(...)
Santa, Attorney & Politician

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and
Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.

Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the
floor. Which one picked it up?

Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

Google Books
Santa’s Book of Knowledge
By Santa Al Horton
Bloomington, IN: AuthorHouse
2011
Pg. 322:
An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up??
Santa! The other two don’t exist!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityMusic/Dance/Theatre/Film • Monday, December 26, 2016 • Permalink